Peter's Grief: 101
by SSelenaa
Summary: Peter just declined Stark's offer to become an Avenger in hopes of a better tomorrow for his Aunt May and him. But when tragedy strikes the Parker family once again, will Peter be able to recover? Will the help of the Avengers get him through this or will Peter become his own demise? **Or Peter's life is turned upside down and the Avengers are there to help him. Rape and abuse
1. Denial

**CHAPTER 1: Denial**

Peter knew what he was feeling was unhealthy, but who could blame him?

He hated everything and everyone at the moment, and nobody had a solution for him. Not that he needs anyone to solve his problems but it would not hurt if the 15 year old did not have to do this specific thing alone.

Because everything here on out will be his decision alone. And Peter just knows he will make too many bad decisions; he is 15, and it may cost someone else's life. Although just that thought alone will cause him to freak out.

Which is all he has been doing lately. Freaking Out.

Aunt May is dead. All he had left is gone, just like that.

He was used.

And the worst part is they will not let him keep the house. The LAST memory he had of his little family.

And that is the reason he is sitting in the front of his home, looking at Happy's number and deciding if his issue is enough of an _issue_ to be considered by Happy as important and worth his time.

Riiiing. Riiing. Peter will give it a shot.

"Peter? Why would you call? Whatever it is, make it quick. I have four other meetings today. I thought you were not playing hero anymore? Or did you change your mind? That would be inconvenient to everyone if you did. You did not, did you? Please Peter, you must be joking. Well, say something!" Anything Peter wanted to tell Happy died at his lips as the man rambled his speech at Peter.

"I…" Peter started, and for some reason his words caught in his throat and tears gathered in his eyes.

Life sucked majorly.

"What Peter? If you have nothing to say, hang up." Happy said angrily. Peter wondered why he was so edgy. Something Mr. Stark said, probably.

"Aunt May died." Peter said without processing what else he should say to accompany that statement.

Avoiding the bigger issue, if one could be bigger than death.

"What?" Happy said in disbelief. "Tony and I will get you, Where are you? Don't answer that, we will track you. Just hang tight." And with that Happy disconnected the call, probably to avoid any emotional commitment.

Aunt May is dead. Absolutely insane. No amount of science or hugs or tears will bring her back.

In 10 minutes Tony and Happy arrived.

"Kid…" Whatever Tony wanted to say was retracted by the man himself. It probably would have been a meaningless apology.

"I am sorry… I just, I did not know who else to call. You know? Since everyone in my family is gone and all. Aunt May was the last one, did you know that? She's what was the last of the Parker's, and me, I guess, but she deserves so much more of life than I do. Right? I know it though." Peter said empty comments to himself, not really directed at the men in front of him.

"They said that I needed to, uh… sign her death paper or something. And the house is not our anymore, so there goes that... I don't, I have no clue what burial coffin to get. Is there a certain one… That is a stupid question though, right? Well, they just told me over the phone." Once again Tony and Happy had no clue what to say to the distraught teen.

"We are going to take you to the Tower Peter. We will figure out all the funeral stuff, okay. You do not have to worry about that." Tony finally cleared his throat to say.

Peter looked up at him with such a despicable face that even Tony winced.

Tony took in the teen, wrapped in an ambulance blanket. He looked miserable to say the least.

"I cannot believe it. I cannot. She is not dead right? This is something **S.H.I.E.L.D.** devised right? _Right Tony_?" Peter desperately wanted this to be a joke.

A cruel, ugly, unjustified joke. But it was the truth.

"We will figure this out together Peter." Tony said lowly. This poor 15 year old child had no living relative left. It is just him. At least he was making his way through the first stage of grief.

Denial.

 **Stark Tower**

Peter sat on the Avenger's couch. All the Avenger's sat around him not really knowing what to say at a time like this.

Steve decided to take the lead.

"What happened Peter. What happened to Aunt May?"

"She. I mean we, well I don't really know… It happened so fast and it was so loud. And she just, she is gone. Why does this world hate me Steve? Why! I was dumb to think I could protect anyone, not with this. She was _right there_ and now she isn't." Peter made zero sense.

"Peter. Take a deep breath and tell us _exactly_ what happened." Tony said, putting a hesitant hand on his back.

"There was this guy, suspicious looking, I am sure you know the type. He was… up to no good? And then we heard banging on the door, we locked it, so that was good right? And Aunt M-May, she said t-to, to, uhhh… hide? Yeah, to hide. And I went under the counter, She pushed me in there, I swear! I tried to help her. I opened the cabinet a bit and saw this, this man with a gun and he… he pointed it at Aunt May. Didn't even say anything. Then he pulled it, the, the trigger and she screamed. It was awful and so, so, so bloody. And I ran out and punched him in the face, we wrestled a bit or whatever and then I kicked him really hard in the chest... I knocked him out. Should I have done more? I do not know… I tried really hard, I promise. And then I just, held Aunt May's head in my lap, she wasn't… her chest it was, still. And he shot her on the left side of her chest so I knew, it did not look good. And her eyes were open, wide open but she couldn't see me, why couldn't she? Why… Why?" Peter spoke what happened very fast, everyone had to try and catch up to his tale, but the boy was so distraught he did not know how else to tell it, or to slow it down.

Peter's breathing got super harsh and his eyes bulged slightly.

"Peter? Look at me. I know this is hard, trust me I understand what you are going through. Just breath in deep and slow." Steve spoke calmly to the panicked boy who just recounted one of the worst experiences of his life.

Peter did all he could to calm his breathing and after 15 minutes he was pretty calm, still sitting on the couch but face buried in Steve's chest and shoulder, both holding on tight to a shared despair.

And now he felt real bad for the story he told.

"It will not be okay now, but in time, I promise, you will wake up and get through your day happily. Just give it time and let yourself smile when you are happy." Steve spoke gently.

Peter looked around and realized he was not alone. These Avengers might not be family, but they are pretty darn close.

He could trust them.

"Are we missing something Young Peter?" Thor asked smelling the discomfort and uneasiness Peter held. And he could smell blood and something unfamiliar to the interstellar man.

Peter did not want them to know more about the robbery but he felt that he had no choice.

He was in pain.

"The robber, he, uhh... He did things to me... That are not okay. We did not really wrestle, he pinned me down, and then he, you know, uhh... He, r-raped me. I told him no, I swear it. And when he, finished, I kicked him in the chest and he passed out. I got dressed before the police got there though." Peter was frantic as he said the last part.

Everyone took a breath.

"He did what?" Tony sighed out, eyes wide and unforgiving.

All Peter could think of, was how bad of an idea it was to tell them.

 **Was this okay? This is my first throw at a Fanfiction. I hope you enjoyed. Should this be continued or was it bad? I wrote it in about 10 minutes, so forgive that, and I have no beta... So Yeah.**


	2. No Explanation

**CHAPTER 2: No Explanation**

 **Hello, It is me. I am back with another one just because I hated how open ended that last chapter was. Was it just me? Well here Comes the second chapter.**

 _ **Previously ~**_

 _Everyone took a breath._

 _"He did what?" Tony sighed out, eyes wide and unforgiving._

 _All Peter could think of, was how bad of an idea it was to tell them._

"I… I tried to kick him away. But I was, I don't know… Scared? I just saw Aunt May… And I missed her so much already. And then the guy was just, there, on top of me. And I am sorry, I know I am weak and I will… Try harder? I quit though, so I don't know." Peter rambled without breathing. He continually stumbled on his words.

The Avengers had no idea what to take from what he just said.

"Peter, we are going to have to do a rape kit on you. Understand? The guy who did this to you will have an even heavier sentence. We should do it now, so you can take a shower. Have you taken a shower since the burglary?" Bruce spoke gently, as Natasha stepped forward and laid a gentle hand on Peter.

"I haven't… I mean, I just called Happy. I didn't, the police never asked so I did not tell. Was I supposed to?" Peter was such a kid that it broke the League's heart. His innocence corrupted worse than any other form of punishment Peter could receive.

"You did what you thought was best, and that is all we could ask for Peter. You did so good." Steve spoke.

Tony felt so awkward that it was painful. He never had this affection as a kid and he never had to show anyone this comfort.

Well, occasionally Steve had a nightmare and Tony would get out of his comfort bubble to help the poor soldier. But that was a rare occasion since Steve turned J.A.R.V.I.S. off when he went to bed.

This was a whole 'nother beast. Peter was barely 15 and has had, what will probably be the worst day of his life.

Tony could easily sympathise with the kid, he just had no real, un-awkward way of showing it.

"Follow me Peter, and I will examine you as quickly as possible." Bruce supplied to the silenced room.

Everyone was too shocked to hold an opinion.

Steve started to get up to get out of Peter's way, but a tug on his fitted shirt caused him to halt mid squat.

"Is it okay? I mean, could you… If it is not a problem, come with me?" Peter squeaked out, embarrassed, although the other's had no clue why.

His discomfort was 100% valid.

Steve looked beyond shocked and almost frightened by the request. "O-Okay. Yeah, of course Peter, no problem. I can accompany you."

The relief was evident in the Retired hero's face. A gentle smile graced his lips and Steve knew that was a thank you.

 **BRUCE BANNER MEDICAL LAB**

"Okay Peter, just lay on the table and I will get this over with." Bruce told the fully dressed out teen. They bagged his clothes and Steve took a seat aby the head of the bed as Peter laid on the metal table awaiting his destiny.

"It may be cold and pinch a bit Peter, but it will be fine, I swear that to you." Bruce spoke kindly.

All Peter did was nod his head and wish for a speedy check.

Once Bruce started Peter's eyes glazed over and tears gathered in them and his breath stilled.

"Peter, look at me," Steve spoke in his Captain America voice. "Look at my face Peter, you can do this, I know you can, son. It will be just fine. Breathe with me Peter. Come on."

Peter looked up at per said man's request. He could do it.

Peter felt Bruce actually _doing_ it, and that is when he lost his battle with tears. He gasped and cried, hoping this was all a joke.

Steve stroked Peter's hair in an attempt to soothe the terrified boy.

Bruce then touched something particularly painful in Peter and he apologized, but Peter was past done with this exam.

"Almost done Peter." Bruce finally said.

"I can't. _Steve_ help it hurts. I want to stop, I am done. I want a shower Steve, can I have a shower now? Can I?" Peter exclaimed with such urgency that Bruce knew he had to hurry up and finish.

Bruce nodded at Steve, telling the man he is done.

"Okay Peter, he is all done. You feel that, he is done. Take these and the pain should go away." Steve said to the young man… the _boy_.

Peter did as was told and took Steve's lead to the bathroom.

Peter looked around the room astonished.

"This room is for you. We had it set up while we were away, and it already has clothes your size and some other stuff for you, so yeah. I hope you like it Peter." Steve spoke to the awestruck boy.

"Of course I like it. Thank you, can you tell Tony that… The thank you I mean. This is real kind of him." Peter was a bit shy when it came to things given to him and Steve could understand why they have to work for things, usually, they are not just given it.

Around an hour and a half later, Peter had taken a shower, gotten his wounds dressed and changed into Pajamas, which were extremely comfortable in Peter's opinion.

"Peter, we are going to have some pasta for dinner, would you like to come eat with us?" Clint had come down to ask.

Clint was just as uncomfortable as Tony, both men not usually showing this type of affection toward _anyone_.

But Clint knew Peter Parker was a different story.

"Okay, that sounded like a solid idea. Peter was hungry anyways, so there is nothing to lose.

He read up on child molestation cases, like his, and he read that 9 times out of 10 they will not want to eat, but Peter was starving. Was he suppose to be starving? Was it bad that he wanted to eat?

"Yeah, I am coming Clint." Peter had already went through the whole, 'Call me by my first name or else,' ordeal. So he did just that, to everyone.

"Good, Steve is the cooking CHAMP! I swear you will love everything on your plate, even things you usually hate." Clint was definitely weird, in more ways than one.

Peter also read that he should not want to eat because he is sad, but he is still starving. He will ask Bruce, Tony and Steve about it later.

After dinner (Like Clint had said, it was amazing), he asked if Bruce, Tony and Steve could talk with him for a minute.

They all looked at him expectantly.

"Well, I… Is this okay? I, I read online that I should not feel hungry, but I did… Am I weird? Well, I mean, more out of the ordinary than usual? Because I think so. I looked it up, because… I have this, _feeling_ , inside that burns every time I walk or think about it. Is that normal?" Peter was really good and run on sentences and making no sense whatsoever.

"It is normal Peter, and if you are hungry, then eat, I promise that will do a lot more good than not eating. And you are above average in every way. You do what your body wants you to do, Peter. And if that is off the norm, then that is fine, everyone heals differently." Bruce explained in his best, friendly, kid doctor way.

Peter looked up with big eyes that spoke volumes.

"I just wish I could be normal with _this_." He sounded so defeated.

"How about you go to bed Peter, and we can talk more about this later? You _ARE_ normal and you are handling this so well, and by your own terms." Steve spoke gingerly, leading them all to Peter's room.

"If you have any issues tonight, do not hesitate to shout for us or to have J.A.R.V.I.S. call us in here." Tony said encouragingly.

With a nod from Peter they all left the room.

Peter would not call them purposefully, he just could not. He was already acting like a baby, but if he could do one thing, it is be strong when there are strong people around him.

He could also break, knowing that he could trust the ones around him to pick up the pieces.

 **So? Again, I wrote this in about 10 or 20 minutes, without a beta, so if it sucks sorry. This a dramatized and obviously not based off real events. Should I continue to another chapter?**


	3. Anger

**Hello, it is I, Thalia. I am not too sure where I want this to go now, I have zero desire to do more with this than the original plan, sorry... I only wrote this to be a two-shot, so I did not think about what should happen next, if that makes any sense. I hope you kind of like where I am going with this and that you know I am trying to bust these out for you due to POPULAR DEMAND, about twice a month. I am more of a reader than a writer. Lots of Love!**

 **P.S.: You can skip this if you would like (Just know Sam is introduced in this chapter and consoles Peter, well, kind of…). This is Peter's take on the whole situation, no real content or anything. Unless you want to know more about Sam.**

 **Previously**

 _With a nod from Peter they all left the room._

 _Peter would not call them purposefully, he just could not. He was already acting like a baby, but if he could do one thing, it is be strong when there are strong people around him._

 _He could also break, knowing that he could trust the ones around him to pick up the pieces._

 **CHAPTER 3: Anger**

Peter did have issues throughout the night, but that was normal.

He could handle it.

All Peter felt was madness deep inside.

Mad at the world, and at Aunt May, and Uncle Ben and his parents for something they could not choose, but for the pain their deaths brought upon the 15 year old.

Mad that he is used and that Tony lets him live in the Tower.

It was not right, he was not suppose to be this taken care of. He was suppose to push his feelings of helplessness aside and be strong because he is the last Parker. But with all the care around him, it was so hard not to want to be weak every once in awhile; to be taken care of by his _hero_ friends.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a bit of love and understanding.

Right?

This bothered Peter for days.

He thought about it since that night 7 days ago.

"Peter?" A voice that Peter could not distinctly remember spoke out.

"It is me, Sam..." Read minds much?

And Peter knew why he could not recognize Sam's voice, it was because of how low and caring it was, not abrupt, hilarious and _Sam_.

Peter knew he was the cause of the tone, and it kind of hurt his heart knowing he was the reason Sam was not his usual self, but he wasn't really, either, so what can he really say?

"I know this is weird to say to you, because you know who I am. But, I… I understand where you are coming from, for the most part, and Stark thinks I can _talk_ to you and we can relate or something. I honestly think so too. So, if you want to talk to me or _any_ of us really, then do so. I can tell you, it will help you heal, I promise" Sam said a bit awkward, but from his heart. Peter respected that because he could tell it made Sam uncomfortable.

If the scratching behind his head was anything to go by.

Peter nodded and Sam walked out with a slight wave.

And Peter smiled.

 **THREE WEEKS LATER**

Peter still had yet to talk about what had happened about a month ago, Tony would even say he has gotten worse.

Peter is frightened everyday, of common things and flinches at touches.

He _flinches_.

Tony cannot let that go, and neither can the rest of the team, although Natasha says she never got a flinch out of Peter.

And they had an even touchier issue.

Nobody had brought up what will happen to Spider-Man either, of course the team wants him back, but they want Peter back more than anything else.

Peter has been walking through the halls recently, just up and down, he said it allows him to think, but today is different.

He does not walk down Steve's floor, like usual.

Nor does he go and watch Bruce and Tony work on random, half-finished projects.

He goes in front of a door and does 4 quick knocks.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Come in!" The joking voice yells out.

"Peter?" The voice says the second he walks in, as Peter had not announced his arrival.

"Yeah, just me… I was wondering if I could take you up on that offer you had?" Peter was cautious for some reason.

"Yeah, uhh… Of course! I am glad you are here little buddy!" It spoke once again, turning their whole body toward Peter.

"Thanks, Sam." Peter said, walking toward Sam, who gestured Peter to sit to the bed.

Once Peter sat, Sam scooted his rollie desk chair opposite to Peter, assuming he would not want Sam adjacent to him.

"So… Anything in particular you wanna talk about?" Sam finally said, after a few minutes watching Peter fumble and flick his fingernails against each other while staring intensly at the said fingers, never lifting his chin towards Sam.

"Well, I uhh… I don't know. I have just been, thinking? I guess, yeah, I have been wondering. You understand? How do you mean?" Peter fumbled around the question, not quite sure how he wants to portray it.

Sam shifts a little, tilting his head to the back of his chair, looking at the ceiling.

"When I was a kid, my… well, my mom, she was, I don't know, mean? To say the least. She smacked me around a lot, calling it punishment. If she ever… _spanked_ me, it would be until I bled and was bruising. When my dad was gone she would, umm, she'd… Why is this so hard?" Sam chuckled out, though it was very humorless.

"You haven't talked about it before?" Peter asked, a bit betrayed.

"No no, I have. Trust me, when Steve found out, he _made_ me sit down and discuss it with him. It was honestly a great experience. Steve is great. It is just that, talking about it, with some who truly understands and more, is weird. And what you got was _way_ worse than me, so yeah, it is kind of hard talking about it." Sam did one of those dry chuckles again.

"Steve said not to compare sadness." Peter said instantly, totally believing anyone hurt was just that, hurt, and there is no justification on how sad you are allowed to be.

Sam nodded and smiled at Peter with a shake of his head. ' _Steve would say that.'_

"Yeah, you are right, so I will just say it. My mom abused me, all ways but sexual I mean, which is why I believe you got it worse, but yeah. Both my parents were bible thumpers and she believed that I needed to be a Priestess like my father, Father Paul, I said no because I thought and still think religion is a bunch of bull and the world happens day by day. I told my parents that a lot of things in the world are unknown and I do not need some person named Jesus to help me sleep easier at night. I said that nobody knows who the first people were or where they came from, that if Jesus was the creator of the world how did the people who created him become created. Why was he born instead of made from the elements? There was literally a whole world before him. And if he was so powerful and almighty and controlled everything I especially did not like him. How could I? I did not want to follow someone who allows adults to kill children, allows starvation and rapist and tears, allows our world to be war stricken and allows people to be killed… murdered." Sam finished in deep thought.

"Murdered?" Peter knew there was more to that statement just by the looks of sadness.

"Yeah, murdered. My dad, my great, loving and heartfelt preacher of a dad was stabbed to death just trying to be a good neighborhood man. He was the only adult of the church who accepted my beliefs and gave me other things to do, my mother just went along with it because she loved my father more than she hated me. When he died, I was 16, everything got immensely worse. She... my mother starved me, kept me from school and when we had to go out I stayed by her side, until this man shot her, right around the corner of our home, right in front of me and Sarah. I was an orphan by 18. And I felt terrible that I was mostly sad about my dad, my mom had always been so awful to me, and when she bled in my arms, I did not even cry, not at her funeral or when I talk about her today. It is mean, I know, I just cannot bring myself to fake love." Sam shook his head in desperation.

Peter never knew that Sam Wilson was an orphan, just like him. Sam had someone shot only 5 steps away from him, Sam was abused by someone.

"You were abused for years, Sam, I think that is pretty awful. I just got it that one time, and I am healing, I did not even know the guy. You knew your mom, the women that was suppose to love you, that is bad if you ask me. What did you do… To recover?" Peter said absolutely.

"I became "Snap" and joined a mob. I became a terrible man Peter. Not willingly, dumb Red Skull manipulated me. He was the best and worst thing that happened to me, he gave me my powers to speak to the birds and thanks to Captain, I was able to be broken from his spell and join the Avengers." Sam said with a gleeful voice at the end. He was lucky his life turned out that way.

"Steve is great. I wish I could be like him." Peter said quietly.

"Captain's life before power and during it were awful though, I would not wish that upon anyone." Sam said.

Peter nodded, knowing Steve grew up in a tough, war-infested time.

"Now your turn Peter. What has been going on in that web brain of yours?" Sam said, leaning his body forward and resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his palms.

 **This was all I had in me. Sorry. I want to continue this, but I have no idea's at all. I am just writing the first thing that comes to mind, which is not too good. I will do my best to continue this. This chapter was an attempt and anger, although Peter is not an angry man, so it was weird trying to right it, I assumed he would keep his anger inside most of the time.**


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